Haw! Mutton-arse!

Today has been the day from hell legit. Now this is a long post so be prepared.

Wake up, get showered and leave the house to catch the bus.

Just rounding the corner and I see my bus pulling away from the bus stop. Fuck.
Have to wait half a hour for the next one, so think "I'll phone placement and let them know I'll be a bit later in". Realise I have forgotten my mobile. Then realise as I am hunting for the phone that I have forgotten my keys.

Bus arrives, and Polish couple try to push on in front of me. Not having it so I push on in front of them. Bus driver then argues with me that my bus pass is not a bus pass. I point out that it says "ARRIVA 4 WEEK PASS" and the valid to and from dates. He tells me not to "get fucking lippy" or I'll be removed from the bus. At this point I ask him if he's fucking joking because seriously this is not a good day. Now I sit down and the bus ride begins.

Get seat on bus and begin to doze. Wake up to realise that my lunch of sandwiches is missing and so is my fruit. This is because the contents have rolled out the bag and were currently doing a tour of the bus. The most I could do is watch the Mexican wave of people jumping as my tangerines savage their ankles.

Manage to jump off bus 23, and change to bus 300 to get along to hospital. Bus driver of 300 tells me its £1.50 AFTER I've shown him my pass. I say "I have a pass" and he says "I can see that". Okay then. Sit down and continue my wonderful journey.

Get into ward 10 minutes late (good going I thought). Over the course of the day I drop various items of cutlery, 2 plates, get told to strip the wrong beds and get told the canteen is shut at lunchtime (and as I have no lunch due to its escaping have to buy some) and buy a salad only to realise it closed TOMORROW and not today.

So finish my shift, bus home is late. Bus home is a nightmare with alternatively being kicked by some wee schemey lassie and elbowed in the ribs (after I've moved seats) by some man reading a paper. Lose the rag after asking the man to move across a wee bit, he refuses, so I elbow him back in the ribs. All the way to Paisley, dig for dig.

So finally reach Paisley. Have an argument in Somerfield with some lassie who thinks that because she has a baby in a pram entitles her to push my shopping up the conveyor belt to put hers on first. I point the back of the queue is that way. "Naw". "Move your stuff or I'll move it for you" she then asks me "What my problem is", now by this point I have had it. I tell her my problem is her, and people like her acting like they can do what they like and nobody says anything. So move your fucking stuff. A security guard is called. She moves her stuff.

I get home and start cooking dinner. Get rice on. Start to open the chicken that I bought in Somerfield. Realise it has a use by date of yesterday. Perfect.

Given up and phone chinese to go with the boiled rice.

Currently watching E.R. And trying not to lose the rag more than I already have.

Not a good day and I've not even told you about the driving lesson on Sunday during which I mounted the pavement, got lost and clipped a car at 8mph. I discovered that pillows are good for sleeping on, but also burying your face in and screaming.