The Life of Brian

Recently, me and the lassies from uni were kicking about. We spotted a new tarot/mystic centre opened. So having picked up £20 we toddle off to get a reading. I go first. You ready?

So the guy starts laying out the cards, and thus begins the charade of "mystic". Reading was in several parts. I made notes. I'm that anal.

So after telling me, random Barnum shit for about a hour in come the "spirits"

A male, grandfather like or fatherly. He's shy and reserved, happiest pottering away in the house and garden. He passed in hospital, not at home like he wanted and it was to do with chest issues, possibly a "heavy" chest like pneumonia. He hears wheezing. Its a "B" name? Bob, Bobby, nope. Brian. Brian is definitely the name thats given to him. Can I take a Brian? Can I take a message to a Brian that this man is fine?

No.

However Brian haunts me. Any previous "readings" I've went to this feckin' Brian pops up. I don't know a Brian. I know of one Brian vaguely but not even in a friend way. So ghost Brian's frickin' stalking me. Last reading was that I would come to know of a Brian. Still waiting...

I say "Sorry I don't know a Brian".

Closely followed by "No. I have no knowledge of a dead aunt who treated me like a daughter with red hair and the name Kirsty is connected"

These denials? They mean I am....

PSYCHIC.

I should totally go for training as my "gift" means that I am receiving messages for other people. I have a great powerful gift, that could help, and heal, many people, as I am a green psychic meaning I HEAL. I HELP.

However in addition to this he also told me I was single, would be self-employed whilst rising to the top of my chosen profession, but that I'm skint. That I need to drop my "barriers" and connect with other people and to "follow the breadcrumbs" and realise peole are like, there for me, y'know?

I must say it cheered me up. I've not laughed so much since a kinesiologist told me I was suffering from X-factor of '95, my base chakra was red and I should hug a tree to reconnect with the earth.