Hallo! RANT.

Well almost 2 weeks on since last entry and I can't say I'm feeling much better to be honest. Went to doctor, but that's a story for another time.

Beginning to really distrust the medical profession. See if I say something is wrong, its wrong. The best judge of a patients health is usually the patient. They know themselves if they "don't feel right" and I know similarly when I "don't feel right". What I don't need is some chit of a doctor the same age as me telling me one thing and then writing another in my notes. Oh yes. I saw them. Another step for a hint by the way, see when you are writing in my notes try not to heavily mock me by "" around what I'm saying.

So in the past two weeks the nausea has resolved slightly, but not much, still boaky more often than not. Spewed my ring at derby today (after half a hour scant skating) came home roasting and sweating. Slept for 2 hours. The tiredness, oh Jesus what I would give for the tiredness just to go. Its exhausting and its even more exhausting dragging my arse about all day trying to pretend I'm not tried. People telling me "you look knackered/like cold shit" is NOT HELPFUL.

So no, I still don't "feel right in myself". I'm boaky, achy in my knees and fingers, tired (so very tired), crabbit and teary (tired), chronic heartburn and having periods of intermittent confusion and memory loss. So thank you very much inverted commas doctor, I know I'm not right.

Aside from that I'm really losing the plot, time is running away from me and exams are in a scant two months, I feel like there's just not enough time. My brains mush, I'm not retaining anything apart from USELESS physiological information about disease processes that although interesting to know don't help with the nursing stuff. They probably do help in the long term, seeing the bigger picture kinda thing but its hard to rationalise that into nursing care quickly and under pressure.

I also failed my derby speed trial by 5 seconds and am bitterly disappointed in myself. Don't know why they bother inviting me to training I feel like a pure waste of resources.

Anyhow, hopefully all tests will come back pin pointing something wrong thats fixable and I'be be back to being a chipper happy camper. Ha ha.