Back from that London

Never. Again.

So RUDE. Like I appreciate people might bang into you , but Jesus, even a quick mumbled sorry would be better than fuck all.

No-one could understand husband.

And we went to Covent Garden Market. Market?!? Back in my day a market meant you could get things cheap... Not £175 for a bathrobe. £175! And no haggling either? Disappointed.

Got my next placement - going to the lung ward which is cool. I'm down with that.

Happy St Patricks Day!

I made cake! Its a Chocolate Guinness cake. Guinness does not taste like I expected - I expected something more malty, like malt extract but alcoholic. Turns out its like bitter heavy. I might have a pint next time I'm out with all that iron and B vitamins.

Hallo! RANT.

Well almost 2 weeks on since last entry and I can't say I'm feeling much better to be honest. Went to doctor, but that's a story for another time.

Beginning to really distrust the medical profession. See if I say something is wrong, its wrong. The best judge of a patients health is usually the patient. They know themselves if they "don't feel right" and I know similarly when I "don't feel right". What I don't need is some chit of a doctor the same age as me telling me one thing and then writing another in my notes. Oh yes. I saw them. Another step for a hint by the way, see when you are writing in my notes try not to heavily mock me by "" around what I'm saying.

So in the past two weeks the nausea has resolved slightly, but not much, still boaky more often than not. Spewed my ring at derby today (after half a hour scant skating) came home roasting and sweating. Slept for 2 hours. The tiredness, oh Jesus what I would give for the tiredness just to go. Its exhausting and its even more exhausting dragging my arse about all day trying to pretend I'm not tried. People telling me "you look knackered/like cold shit" is NOT HELPFUL.

So no, I still don't "feel right in myself". I'm boaky, achy in my knees and fingers, tired (so very tired), crabbit and teary (tired), chronic heartburn and having periods of intermittent confusion and memory loss. So thank you very much inverted commas doctor, I know I'm not right.

Aside from that I'm really losing the plot, time is running away from me and exams are in a scant two months, I feel like there's just not enough time. My brains mush, I'm not retaining anything apart from USELESS physiological information about disease processes that although interesting to know don't help with the nursing stuff. They probably do help in the long term, seeing the bigger picture kinda thing but its hard to rationalise that into nursing care quickly and under pressure.

I also failed my derby speed trial by 5 seconds and am bitterly disappointed in myself. Don't know why they bother inviting me to training I feel like a pure waste of resources.

Anyhow, hopefully all tests will come back pin pointing something wrong thats fixable and I'be be back to being a chipper happy camper. Ha ha.

Ye gads - nurses do not make the best patients

I'm rarely sick. Oh I know I have the odd moan about IBS, or migraines but I think I'm sick.

Problem is its nothing noticable. I think I'm now sinking into a general malaise.

I just feel minging.

Sick after every meal, sometimes a wee bit, more often than not a over riding nausea. I'm exhausted. I wake up in the morning stiff, aching and having real trouble moving initially.

Today I've had 1 square of milk chocolate - sick, and 2 meatballs and 2 table spoons of beans - nausea and heartburn. And now 3 Rennies. Nope 4 now as I'm writing this.

I've not even managed to get my coffee yet as that leads to vomiting.

HELP ME INTERNET! So far all its telling me is I'm pregnant (which is not only highly unlikely but impossible), so I'm not pregnant, I just feel like crap.

I so do not need this when I'm trying (unsuccessfully) to study. I even missed derby yesterday and uni due to feeling like mince. Fucksticks.