2009 - the shortlist

I've been mulling over things recently and wondered if, in addition to looking towards the New Year, it would be an idea to take stock of the past year 2009 and see how its treated me.

This year has been, I feel, overall positive.

Yes, alright some aspects of my life haven't panned out exactly as planned. My personal life has been subject to some more bumps than would have been strictly desirable, with my husband and I discovering that "for better or worse" is a very trying time.

All the weight I lost, I regained. Mostly because I'm a pie of highest magnitude.

My family at times have made me want to run away and join the circus.

And recently its been suggested that due to childhood experiences I may want to visit a counsellor. This is not in my nature. I detest misery memoirs and I have no desire to start verbalising one of my own. Much as I'm an in-your-face kinda person, prone to TMI with most aspects of my life including things other people would rather die than admit, I have no desire to explore all the dark twisty corners of my pschye. Some of those dark twisty things are what drive me, in a sense running away from certain things and towards others. In a very real sense they serve as a carrot/stick combination for someone who at times, is very much an ass. They are private and they are mine.

But I'm trying to be more upbeat. So in examining this year I'm looking at the positives.

I can drive!

I've passed all my exams and hitting 3rd year with a clean slate. This amazed me, I quite frankly didn't think I had it in me.

I passed all my placements. Well. This also astounded me, as I thought at one point, particulrly the end of 1st year that I had made a huge mistake and was questioning "what the actual fuck am I doing here?".

I've built a good group of friends at uni.

I've started a sport that I really like. I have a new interest, expanding my social circle again.

I feel that I understand me more. I feel... older. Apart from finding the odd grey eyebrow and lady garden weed, I feel -at times- more at ease with myself. I'm not saying its all the time, but its more often than not. That for me is a good thing. This is progress.

So 2009, it is with a grateful embrace I send you away to keep all my other previous years company. You have overall been kind to me, and not sent me more than I can bear. You have at times caused me concern but you have taught me a lot in that time.

2010. I welcome you with open arms and hope that you are a great year, which enables me to achieve the high targets necessary this year to help me qualify. I look forward to expanding my knowledge and confidence whilst hopefully decreasing my waistline. I look forward to embracing more of life and worrying less about what I cannot change and focusing more on what I can.

Thank you for reading.