Thanks for all the well wishes, the get well soon cards and the flowers.You'll be glad to know I'm not lying behind my front door, my decomposing body being eaten by the dog.
In other news I had my final assessment today and its prompted a bit of the old navel gazing. The assessment went fine by the way, I managed to get a "very good" for all 4 boxes which means I should get an A or at very least a B1 for this placement but during the grading discussion I asked something which prompted a bit of feedback, which in turn led me to a bit of the aforementioned navel gazing.
I asked what I could do to turn my very good into an "Excellent", I felt comfortable asking this because this placement was brilliant. See if there was one placement that reaffirmed my decision to do this course, it was this one, the staff were fantastic - hats off to you Ferguslie Clinic. Basically they didn't tell me what I could do to become excellent - its just something that will come in time, but I wondered if I've been holding myself back because of the disasterous first placement I had?
My recent hospital placement told me that they felt I was somewhat hesitant in putting myself forward for things to do, and relied heavily on direction. I accepted this was true, and at the time attributed it to the fact that I had trouble getting a mentor assigned, so thought that it was because I didn't have that mentor-student bond to support me,and also because I didn't want to be seen as pushy( to the extent where I did something independently of instruction 2 weeks in and nurse thanked me but post panic attack I spent the rest of the placement wondering if they were calling me a pain inthe arse). Now I wonder if I've been holding myself back because of the first placement I had, the placement from hell.
Remember the one where I was amongst other things, pushy, overly enthusiastic, didn't work well with others and asked too many questions?
I think if I'm being honest, since then I've held back. I've been reluctant to "fight the good fight" as it were and very hesitant in volunteering or asking to do things for fear of being pushy or overly-enthusiastic again. I think that initial feedback I received knocked my confidence to such an extent its taken me a good while to get over. At time I have been disappointed in myself and let things go unchallenged that I never would have before, I've accepted judgements made on others and myself that I know to be unfair.
But I'm good. I know I'm good, I know my background knowledge, I study, I read voraciously in order to be good. So really the only thing holding me back is, well, me.
So from now on, I'm going to try and be more than good, I'm going to try and be excellent.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Glad to see you have recovered! well done on the assessment as well :)
I have all the faith in the world that you will be excellent, the first step for getting there is understanding what might be holding you back, you are well on your way sweetheart!
Glad you're feeling better, and have had such a successful placement. I think you're right - that first placement did knock your confidence, and you were always going to be very good at this nursing lark. However, at your next placement, try and guage the lay of the land before you go exploding in, full of questions etc. Some people don't react well to too much enthusiasm - remember how you hated any form of enthusiasm here?
Post a Comment