Things make me uncomfortable.

I was thinking about things that make me uncomfortable.

The word "Lover": This makes me feel slightly "ick". I always feel a wee bit dirty saying it, and not in a good fun way. Its like Reilly and her "Panties"

Waiting for the dog to poo: Its bad enough that I have to watch/wait for goodness sake, but I get very paranoid that people are watching from thier windows watching me watching the dog poo. So I stand there nappy sack in hand waiting for her to finish, trying really hard not to make eye contact. Then she does make eye contact and its all very akward for all concerned. And you don't want to look too eager to be picking up poo.

Talking on the phone: I really don't like talking on the phone. I feel very inept. I tend to sit here going "Yeah....*silence*... Erm aye so....*silence*.... where was I? Oh aye, erm, yeah..."

Sex: Not sex itself, but thinking about sex. You know, do I look like I'm thinking about it? Do I look like a big sex pest on the bus? And thinking about sex is horrible, I mean do you ever think about the dynamics of it? Like if you had an instant replay cam and saw what you looked like as you were doing it, would you ever have sex again?

Childbirth and breastfeeding: Now I'm all for breastfeeding, very good for mum and baby and that but where do you look? I mean looking away makes you look like you are embarrassed right? Staring at the boob, makes you look like you're a big pervert. Staring at mums face might indicate you are embarrassed. So then you spend the next 20 minutes with your eyes flickering wildly around the room like some sort of crazed caged animal. Childbirth, where does it all fit?

Stuff thats happened (Graphic image)

In the past wee while, and Iwould have toldmore of you face to face, but you know, time and all that.

When I get up in the morning, I have a pretty sad set routine. I get up,micturate (pee) and shower. Then I deal with the rest of the days concerns, I get dressed, walk the dog, go out, that sort of thing. A few weeks back Husband took a nosebleed whilst asleep. I'm in the bathroom, (nekkid) and having peed already picking up the empty loo roll tube thats fallen down the back of the loo.

Husband staggers to bathroom door, glazed look across his face, blood smeared all across his face and all up his arms. Unfocused he eventually looks at me and lets out a "Gnurgggh" noise. Like this

Now admittedly I was just awake so not really firing on all cylinders (am I ever? I hear you ask) and my first thought was not "Aww poor mans obviously had a nosebleed". My thought process went like this:

"ZOMBIE!"
"Shit. I don't have a weapon"
"How embarrassing being killed when naked"
"What do I have in the intervening 3 feet between him and me?"
"FUCK"

I find this slightly worrying that my initial reaction to a blood smeared person is "KILL IT! KILL IT!"

Updates:

Boring bits out of the way first. Today I bought, packet of smoked salmon, 2 packs king prawns, 2 HUGE Finest Christmas puddings, 2 packets of Chicken kievs, a big bit of roasting beef, packet of pork and apple sausages, packets of Lorne sausages, 2 packets of back bacon, 2 double pepperoni pizzas, packet of fresh beef meatballs and a bag of chips. for £12. Go the cheap shopping.

Also Husband is not being made redundant! This is good news! Not as much of a pay increase as we had hoped, but the job is there which is something.

I also got my exam results back. I got 3 A's. This has led to some serious soul searching over the past couple of days. I have come to the conclusion I am a miserable cow. Seriously. My oral Exam marks, out of a potential 100, I got 100. 100/100. I could not have scored any higher so why am I disappointed in some way? I don't know what I was expecting, I mean I've always pushed myself to acheive as best I can, so why when I acheive the top mark am I not overjoyed?

My placements grading was an "A" too.

Instead of going online and getting my grades and thinking "Fuck Yeah! 3 A's!!" and I could think was "Oh. Right. " My cooments sheets were good in that they detailed I had "excellent theoretical and practically applied knowledge underpinning the course", it is "evident that I take responsibility my own learning". Uni is pleased with me.

So why am I not?

Woo hoo!

Today I signed up for my first mystery shopper assignment!

Can't tell you when or where, but I'm hoping he next one is food based, just narrowly missed one at a well known pizza chain. bummer

God I'm tired

Shattered, feel like all I've done is run about today like a headless chicken.

Diet needs to start tomorrow (or thereabouts) as I'm getting huge. One of the highlights of toady was getting home and pouring myself into my jammie trousers.

Working at Hutchesons Grammar on Friday and maybe Mar Hall afterwards.

Winning £1000. Hopefully.

p.s theres voucher codes here if you want them. If not then fair enough.