You likeh Irish gerls?

So husband and I stoating about down the harbour, looking to book a boat trip for the next day. We see a glass bottomed boat, wander up to look for a sign for prices, leaving times, length etc when up pops an Irish girl. She proceeds to give up a brief run down of the boat, trip, lunch provided etc.

Then up pops the boat owner who proceeds to try the hard sell. "We givah launch. Yes We givah dreenks" in nothing but a pair of very small speedos. And this was a hefty bit of a guy, belly so big you weren't actually sure he had bottoms on until he started dancing at us.

Then another two Irish girls appear, wearing not a lot of clothing. Bikini's looking like butchers string.

The man then turns to Paul and asks "Where you froam?"
"Glasgow,Scotland" replies Paul
"Excellent! Glasgow and Irish Gerls almost same! You likeh? You like Irish gerls? I make sure serving you drinks mr man" Thats when his dancing started "Dance gerls! dance for man and lady"

I decided to leave as the pimping of the Irish gerls was getting a bit much for me at this point, and Paul was just looking horrified.

ow ow ow ow

Sunburn of doom.

Paul and I were swimming in the sea yesterday. Swallowed about a gallon of saltwater, it appears that whilst I may be super talented at most other things, I cannot appear to co-ordinate myself adequately to snorkel.

Also chucked up all over the boat loo (it appears that I don't do boats) and then "took a whitey".

Then I got sunburnt. All over my arms this time, because after said "whitey" I was shoogling everywhere and just wanted to get back to the apartment, so forgot to reapply factor 50 after swimming.

I did like the sea swimming, but apart from that it was a bit of a nightmare yesterday. We didn't go out for dinner, instead we popped to local shops (not just for local people) and I had GIANT butterbeans, bread, greek yoghurt and honey. And some cookies. We then watched Nacho Libre (mmmm, undecided) and crashed out early. Up earlyish this morning and sat on the balcony with a book, toasting lightly (with sunblock this time)

Paul is brown. Not quite nutlike but more sunday roast.

Fly back tomorrow and will touch down in Glasgow about 2 in the morning.

Whopa!

Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen.

Quick update as will update proper when back.

Its hot. Very hot. Temps currently ranging from 38 - 42 degrees at the moment.

I managed to forget to sunblock my back as changed outfit at last minute, was in sun for less than an hour and my back is a lovely shade of lobster. You can see where I have blocked down to, as its standing out in white relief. No tan anywhere else. Husband has a bit of colour roundabout his chops. No burning though, factor 50 coping well.

Our apartment is lovely, clean and basic. Has cooking facilites except when you go out the aprtment the electric goes off, thus rendering the use of a fridge utterly useless.

Lounging by the pool. Drinking iced coffees, cocktails and loads of water. Local restaurants are lovely. Really lovely.

View from the apartment balcony is stunning. We are on a hill, so have a cracking view of Hersonissos and the sea. What a sight to wake up to. The sky at night is stunning, pitch black full of stars and the moon last night was blood red, Husband very impressed.

So far dont want to come home :0(

Try not to miss me too much

Have bought a camera so will be taking photos.

Oh happy days - although Husband is already moaning about the heat and we haven't even left yet.

And we're off...

Husband phones at 12pm to advise we can go on holiday, but only if we book something leaving this week. Great, that gives me oooh 3 days to find something.

At 1:30pm I have bought a weeks holiday in Crete, leaving THURSDAY not tomorrow as blonde travel agent advised (Side note did you know that the "blonde/blond" spellings are one of only a few words in the English language that have retained the original French spelling?).

Anyway, into Primark for some £1 tee shirts, cases packed, sunscreen purchased FACTOR 50+ for the win folks, and insect repellent etc etc.

Looking forward to it.

Oh the injustice of life.. Hic!

Right bear with me, all will become clear... I want to book a holiday. Can't because husband cant nail down time off work. He was supposed to ask for this week off, but can't so this weeks holiday is away. Might be flying out on the 31st instead. 7 nights in Crete. Ya dancer. Or not because if he doesn't move quick on the holiday time off, we're going nowhere.

And I also started knitting jumper for wee sis Christmas, and its lovely, dark denim blue colour with cream striping, and a touch of lilac. Wrap style top in a ribbed tube for the body. Minimal weaving, no seaming and provisional cast on. Anyway boring knitting stuff over. I get to a certain point in the pattern and discover that I don't have the right sized needles in the house. So I traipse into John Lewis. Who have every size of needle except the one I need "Thats an unusual size". No,no its not, John Lewis. So off to EBAY. I am now stuck in knitting limbo waiting for EBAY to deliver my needles. Vagaries of the postal service ahoy

So I decide to tidy up the drinks cupboard. I have a substantial drinks cupboard as we always bring back drink from holiday, people give us stuff and we rarely tan into it. So I have polished off the remnants of Smirnoff and a bottle of tonic water. I am pished. I now also have the super steaming munchies and the co-ops shut. The petrol station is too far away for drunk wanderings. Or is it? No it is. Really. I'm starving. I don't even like Vodka, but I take one for the tidying team. Go team tidy.

Here, my typings rather impressive when guddled.

Attack of the stupid student

So I get all of the work handed into uni that I'm supposed to. Score 1 clever student point.

Gave dog leftover Chinese. Now some of you may not think this is a good idea, but this is the same dog I caught eating a slice of blue mould pizza put of someone elses bin out the back. However it was not actually a good idea and dog now has upset stomach and because it was noodles, dog is passing undigested noodles. I panic and think "WORMS OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD", start flapping hands about like some sort of Jazz Hands festival and realise that no, its just noodles. Minus 10 stupid student points.

The go to Erskine to make up day on placement. Realise half way up the drive to the hospital that I've came on the wrong day. Minus 50 stupid student points.

So far I am on -59 stupid student points.

Bought myself new trainers today as my other ones are not only worn through at the sole, I've managed to wear them through on the inside and detach the whole front of them from the rubberry bit that hold the shoe onto the sole. Very clown shoe-esque.

Since none of you EVER email me, or even comment anymore, I am enclosing a picture of my new shoes to tempt you with thier shiny goodness. They have that new shoe smell, well obviously since they are new shoes.



Oh and I might be going on Holiday for a week. Somewhere shiny and sunny. Not decided where yet. Husband says he's committed to the idea, but any destinations I suggest are "Mmmm"

Procrastination. Thy name is Marri

Am procrastinating on so much. Had two days of catch up work in uni to do. Thats 5 pieces of written work. Due tomorrow, in a your arse is toast kind of way. I've done one. So going to spend today frantically typing my fingers into stubs so I can get them emailed away. I know I have 4 pieces to write, and yet I'm on here, wittering away gaily. I'm trying to convince myself I work better under pressure.

Also on the weight loss front...

Remember I did Cambridge and lost 2.5 stone? Vowed to eat healthily so I wouldn't put any back on? Well.... 6 months of uni based lattes, chips, bacon rolls, vending machines, and takeaways has put paid to that idea. Put 1.5 stone back on. IDIOT! Belive it or not, 7lbs of that just appeared in a week and my uniform was feeling a bit tight.

But alas it means back to the drawing board and that I now have 12 weeks on Cambridge to do. Its either that or 21 weeks of solid dedication on Weight Watchers, which just now is not my bag. So Cambridge it is. Managed to shift 10lbs last week (well 9.5 really but my tracker rounds up). So I'm putting it at the top of the page so you can say "OOOh you're doing really well" or "You fat bastard"

Enough distraction. To academia.

The weathers horrible isn't it?

All right, I'm going, I'm going!

Houston, We have a latex failure

Not in the strictest sense of the word the latex's fault, but I did manage to end up with pee all over my right hand today. Empying a mans catheter bag, as you do. Its really really full. The urine is really smelly and bloody. He has a urine infection at the moment.

So, clip off the intermediate bag. Remove the night bag from the stand. Hold the free end of the night bag in my left hand. Man says something. I lean forward and say "What?" and at this point, lean against the night bag ever... so ... slightly. The urine comes running back up the tube and out inside my right glove.

Not my most pleasant day ever.

Sitting comfortably? Take a nice deep breath and

AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Pain in the ass town. Population 1.

AAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Roll on Friday.

Fuck sake.

AAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Well hello Miss July...

*wink* [cue Rocky Music] Baa da Duuuum....

This is really just a pointless waffling post (but then aren't they all?) about me. ME.

I have resolved no more half-arsing about with my PCOS. I'm going to kick its spotty hairy fat arse. New regimen.

1. I will take my herbal supplement. Agnus Castus, 3 tablets in the morning. 1.2g effective dose.
2. I will take my Metformin 3 times a day.
3. I am now off the combined pill. No masking hormones, no mood swings. In replacement of this I will remember my Agnus Castus
4. I am starting diet again as of Saturday
5. I have renewed gym membership for another 4 months. That was if I can't get to the gym after placements its only 4 months and not a year of subscriptions.
6. I'm off the sugar. Only sugar is fruit sugar or stevia. Sugar is not my friend in this.

My PCOS is really kicking my arse just now and I'm not having it. I'm really losing a lot of hair, its now quite thin and I'm shedding a handful a day. Easily. You can now see the shape of my head under lights. No fucking more.

It makes me fat, spotty, hairy, tired, infertile, moody, and depressed. Its not having my fucking hair aswell.